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I hear people talking about their dreams and goals for the future and I can’t afford the pain of having any.When I wrote about being overwhelmed in the bank two chapters ago I didn’t mention that I was having full blown for lack of a better word dementia like symptoms. I knew why we were there but didn’t understand what was going on. I was arguing about what papers go into what envelope and other silly behaviour. At one point my wife laid her head down on the desk. I was an overgrown 5 year old. I knew what was going on and I couldn’t stop it. It was that day my wife said I could use CBD no matter what the doctors say. I still had some and it helps keep that shit in check.Why didn’t I mention it when I wrote about it then? It’s humiliating. Every time it happens it brings me one step closer to the nursing home. Thinking about it scares me. If I don’t write about it I don’t have to think about it. At the same time, I told you guys I would keep it real. So here it is.Thinking back, I. I had a pretty good idea of just how unrestrained my Auntie Rose could be.It was only two in the afternoon and the bottle of red wine on the bed stand was half empty. With Rose that really didn't mean anything because she drank the stuff like water with very little effect. Her danger periods were in the evening hours when she started in on the gin and tonics or some type of vodka martini that was all the go. It was at those times that her inhibitions vanished and she did some naughty things she would not normally do.I don't know what got into me but when she dared me to taste the martini concoctions; I succumbed to her persuasive powers and had two of them without blinking an eyelash. Now we were both forearmed with enough bravado to risk making fools of ourselves with the several young men and even older men who were in residence on other floors of her boarding house. I had been introduced to all of them but they all seemed a jumble in my brain at that particular moment.Moving.
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